Twin Mom Confession: I Don’t Want My Kids to Grow Up

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I have a confession to make. I am over-the-moon excited that my twins are growing and learning and developing individual personalities. But, at the same time, I’m incredibly sad that they are no longer the tiny babies I once knew. 

I miss holding a tiny baby and cuddling for hours while they slept on my chest. Now that my twins are a few months away from turning two, they’re becoming more independent each day. I’m proud to see them owning their choices and learning about the world. But I can’t lie and say I’m not selfishly a little sad about their growing independence. 

I hope I’m not the only mom who feels this way. I don’t see many people talking about it, but it’s hitting me hard lately. 

Every week I work full-time and I send my kids to daycare during the day. This week, they were moved up from the Infant II room to the Toddler room and I might have cried a few times. Intellectually I know that my twins are thriving. I know that in the new room they’re getting a chance to play with kids their own age and I know the new room has more toys and activities to help them continue to learn. 

But, I also know time is moving quickly. I know that before long they’ll be going off to kindergarten. I realize that’s still three years away. But these first two years have flown by and when I stop and think about it I get a little misty-eyed. I look through old photos of my kids when they were infants and I’m so glad I took a million and one photos and videos during that time. I’m grateful for those memories and the memories that I wasn’t able to capture. (Any new moms out there, make sure to take as many pictures and videos as you possibly can, you wont regret it!)

Ultimately, I know my kids have to grow up; and I want that for them. I want them to learn and succeed in the world. And I hope they go off to college and work and eventually change the world. I want them to have their own families and lives. More than anything, I just want to be a part of it all.

I think as long as I continue to work on the relationship I have with my twins as they grow, I’ll start to feel more comfortable knowing we’ll always be close no matter how big they get. That’s how I’ll get through this sadness. I’m going to focus on growing with my kids and having fun with them. 

I will be the best toddler mom I can be and I’ll encourage their growth, even when it makes me cry. That’s what they need me to do; and as a mom, I just want to know that I gave my kids everything they needed and more.

I will say for any other moms out there going through this, hang tough! We’ll get through the sadness to embrace the joy of watching our little ones grow up. This motherhood thing is a trip! It’s hard and sad and happy and beautiful and a million other things, but I love this journey so much.

Outfit Details:

Here is an outtake from our photoshoot…proof that taking pictures with toddlers is never easy lol!