What Happens When You Get Rid of Toxic Friends

Disclosure: Some of the links are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a slight commission if you click through and make a purchase.

I have to admit, when I was younger I was so worried about hurting someone else’s feelings that I kept way too many toxic friends in my life. I was more concerned with someone else’s feelings than I was with my own. I let people into my life, and let them stay there, even after realizing they were causing me emotional harm.

And then I became a mom. I became a twin mom, which among other things, meant I had very little time to myself and my life outside of my children. I realized I was wasting so much time agonizing over relationships and friendships that weren’t serving me. They were actually hurting me emotionally.

I had people in my life that actively made my life harder and more painful. Instead of cutting those “friends” out of my life, I let them stay. I convinced myself that it wasn’t that bad and I thought deep down they really cared about me. I let myself believe that cutting them out of my life would be too harsh and would upset them.

Letting Go

Once I realized I didn’t have the time or the energy to deal with toxic friends, I had to decide how to let go of those relationships. In my opinion, the easiest way to get toxic friends out of your life is to simply let them go. Stop returning phone calls, don’t RSVP for their parties, don’t text them back. Eventually, they’ll get the memo that they’re no longer welcome in your life. 

I know some of you are wondering why I don’t suggest telling those toxic friends why you’re letting them go or why you consider them to be toxic. A while ago I heard someone talking on a podcast about how he doesn’t bother telling someone he’s cutting them out of his life unless he wants them to fight for the relationship. And that made a lot of sense to me. 

If you’ve already gotten to the point where you’ve decided the person is toxic and you want them out of your life, you’ve probably already given them several chances and they never change. You don’t need to explain to them why you’re cutting them out because you don’t want them to fight for the relationship. You just want them out of your life. Don’t waste your time having a conversation unless you want them to try to fix the relationship. 

Enjoying Your Freedom 

This is the best part of what happens when you get rid of toxic friends. Once you cut them off you have this feeling of freedom. It’s like a weight is lifted off your chest and you can live life and breathe freely again.

It took me 30 years to learn this lesson, and I’m so glad that I did. I honestly have never been happier in that aspect of my life. Now I no longer feel like I have to stay friends with someone who posts shady comments on my social media accounts, talks badly about me to my other friends, or criticizes everything about my life. You don’t have to be friends with someone if you don’t want to.

Let me say that one more time for anyone who needs to hear it. You don’t have to be friends with someone if you don’t want to. Let that sink in. Believe it and live it. Trust me, you’ll be much happier.